You and your guy are happy, right? You think if nothing’s broken, then there’s no need to “fix” things. Well, that logic might work for a lackluster relationship, but it won’t keep you two happy in the long run. There are a few things many of us do that we might consider harmless behavior, but it’s secretly sabotaging your relationship. Here’s the lowdown on the not so harmless ways you’re hurting your love life.
1. You Give and Give and Give and Give
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Either we’ve been this girl or know a girl who knows a girl who gave everything, including her heart, to a guy for years and years only for him to end things because he’s not the “marrying” type. And just after they break up, he turns around and proposes to someone else a few months later.
Women are natural-born nurturers, so it’s well within our capacity to care for and be extremely giving to our guys. The problem is, we tend to hold it against our partner as if we’re a martyr, so our beau feels guilty, and possibly obligated to us. When you (seemingly) make it all about him, i.e. giving up your girl’s nights so you can spend another evening together, it comes across as though he is responsible for your happiness. Remember to keep your own agenda, and be a little selfish yourself sometimes. When you do nice things, don’t keep score as though you’re expecting him to equally return the favor.
2. You Overcommunicate
With Facebook, Twitter, IM, emails, and texting, we’re likely overcommunicating with a lot of our “friends.” It’s even worse in a close relationship since you already spent a great deal of time together. All that constant contact with each other removes any alluding mystery you two might have. We all know the phrase, familiarity breeds contempt, but perhaps even worse, we’re learning familiarity breeds boredom.
Keep some mystery and don’t bore your guy and everyone’s news feed with pointless updates about your minute-to-minute life. We promise no one will miss the updates about what you had for breakfast or your check-ins at the gym. Also, didn’t Kelly Ripa once say she won’t immediately return calls from her hottie hubby while at work to keep him guessing? If it works for them, it’s good enough for us.
3. You Air All Your Frustrations to Your Friends
Sure a guy-bashing girl-talk session with your ladies feels great every now and then, but constantly complaining about your guy to your friends can seriously sabotage your relationship. Since your girls love you, they’ll support and sympathize with you, and start to believe your guy sucks and is wrong for you. To keep them in support of your relationship, cut back on the bitching and moaning and be sure to tell them all about the nice things he does too. Just sharing the positives with them, will even remind you how great your guy is and strengthen your bond.
4. You Don’t Think You’re Hot
Do you hate what you see in the mirror? Are you constantly criticizing your body and cringing whenever your guy grazes his hand across your stomach? You may not think these small issues are affecting your relationship, but your low self-esteem can wreak havoc on your sex life. Have you ever noticed that if you’re not feeling sexy, you’re just not as interested in having sex? A major gripe of many guys is that while they find their ladies drop-dead gorgeous, their girlfriends or wives are inhibited because they’re feeling insecure. For starters, knock off the body-bashing and stop pointing out your flaws to your guy. Second, try incorporating more confidence in the bedroom. Start fooling around in candlelight (it flatters everyone!) instead of trying to hide in the dark or under the sheets. Once you realize you can enjoy yourself in whatever shape you are, you’ll go back to having more fun in the bedroom, which is always beneficial to a relationship.
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2 comments
Great advice!
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